Of Commotions and Camels

So, how are you Oh Best Beloved? Because me? I’m getting mighty tired of the enormous bull’s-eye painted on us and on our property and on everything we own.

A little more than a week ago Michael discovered that the housing on the main power line coming into our house had seriously deteriorated. Now, I’m pretty sure we had had it inspected just last year, and were told it was fine.

Yeah. Right.

Since the power, cable and phone lines all connect to the same spot, the phone and cable had to be moved to allow the replacement of the power line. And getting that coordinated to have all three services out here at the same time is a whole ‘nother tale of woe, which included me informing AT&T, after four hours on the phone with them, that their tail wasn’t wagging this dog. And that if they didn’t have their service personnel here at the designated time, the physical connection holding their line to our house was going to vanish irregardless as that was out of our control. And then their line would gently drift to the ground and it would become AT&T’s expense to handle–on an emergency basis–as they would now have downed lines…

I didn’t use even one four-letter word during that four-hour interaction, btw, which believe me was pretty nigh close to a mircle given the run-around I was given.

Anways… on last Tuesday the power company, cable company, phone company and a master electrician all arrived to fix up This Little Problem.

Step one: disconnect the power. Unfortunately, the power company crew made a little boo-boo, which caused Our Friend Electricity to arc across the lines as they were doing the disconnect.

Now, an electrical arc, and the accompanying voltage spike, is high on The List of Very Bad Things that can happen.

As a teeny little aside: given the last twenty years of our lives, this last episode has pushed me over the edge into admitting that if we didn’t have bad luck, we wouldn’t have any.

For what it’s worth.

Anyways…

One of my life maxims is “Trust in God — but tie your camel.” Which roughly translates as: unless you’ve haltered and tied your camel to the biggest strongest tree in the oasis yourself, with the biggest strongest rope made in the world with the best knot known to mankind, attached to a perfectly fitting, completely fool-proof and unbreakable halter, expect a big snouted ugly spitting smelly gnarly beast to gallumph through the middle of your tent at regular intervals, careening off everything and smashing all to bits and leaving behind a trail of poop as it does. And even if you’ve done your part, assume the tree will uproot, the knot will untie, the halter will break and the camel will get loose.

So.

Thinking ahead to how to tie this camel, I went around the night before all this work was to commence and unplugged everything I could reach. We have surge protectors and fairly powerful uninterruptable power supplies on all the computer gear and phone, but still… I pulled the plugs on all that too, and unhooked the modems, too.

Computers, phones, window A/C, fans, our little bitty TV, radios, chargers for cellphones, etc etc. etc… they’re all fine because they were all unplugged.

Yay, Judy.

Yay, Michael, who unplugged all the rest of our computer and other electronic gear that’s in places I can’t get to or reach.

Our appliances are too old to have electronics that would have been fried, so we still have a functional refrigerator, freezer, stove and oven too. The only things that are a total loss are our flourescent lamps, as their electronic ballasts fried. We’ve had to replace all of those.

Somehow, I don’t recall any of this being in the notebook I was issued at birth that was titled, “This Is How Your Life Is Going To Go!”

*sigh*

I hate camels.